| (no subject) |
[Nov. 13th, 2003|01:53 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Eminem - Renegades | ] |
Luckily, it being the weekend, it was from too late to get some eggs. I am very much a fan of breakfast, and it's certainly the one thing the dining hall can do a respectable job of. Egg white omelet, potatoes, toast, ideal. I sat with Danny and Brenden and Miles, and we did some serious people watching--it was a Discover Day! today, so tons of prospective students were crowding into the dining hall and trying to form some sort of impression of this fucked-up school (which I still love, by the way). Miles and I definitely approved of a thoroughly pierced bohemienne, although we concluded that she was probably way too into Ani DiFranco. We did not approve of a young man in khakis, a v-neck, and a blazer. The clothes were no big deal, of course, he could have just been especially dressed up for his interview. But then we saw him outside nervously talking on his cell-phone. If it wasn't saturday, I would have been sure that he was talking to his stock broker. Miles and I decided that he might actually have been making a drug deal--those preppy types being notorious coke fiends. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 28th, 2003|12:16 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  refreshed | ] |
Today I went to my little brother's baseball game. It was fun--although I have a natural aversion to playing baseball and rarely watch professional ball, I like little league games. They're short and they're CUTE.
Some of the kids get pretty intense about baseball. I always sort of wondered where these 7 year olds were getting that sort of competitive spirit, but I eventually realized that it comes from their fathers. There's a definite correlation between the boys who kind ask you not to touch their "pitching arm" and the dads that attempt to coach the team from behind the fence. However, there's also a correlation between the kids who sit in the outfield and pick flowers and the parents who wear birkenstocks. Go figure.
I divided my time between watching the game and reading a book. I'm sure that appeared really anti-social. It was--I read in public with the intention of not being bothered (unless of course someone wants to comment on the book I'm reading). Often, when I appear to be reading I'm sort of observing what's going on around me. I think that's my only really people skill, observation. I really like listening to the middle aged baseball moms talk during the game. There's always the one mom who goes on and on about safety. Her kid is the one who leaves the game early because he scraped some non-vital patch of skin. The mom who lets her kids do whatever they want, the mom who, twenty years after high school, is STILL too cool for the other moms. I really enjoy middle-aged women. I'm not sure exactly why, maybe I like people with kids, maybe I like people who aren't 'cool' and who aren't necessarily self conscious about it (which isn't to say that middle aged women can't be cool, I just prefer the not so cool ones). Maybe it's some bizarre psychological thing related to my mother. You never really know.
Lying in the grass in the Plaza with the most beautiful girl you know late at night is incredibly joyously wonderfully fun, something I found out with Emily (the aforementioned beautiful girl) last night. We tried to figure out how many leaves were on this tree. We both said about a million, but she just guessed it and I tried to figure it out using exponents (this many leaves on that branch times this many branches on that biggers branch etc. etc. etc.). How sad am I?
Lately I've been enjoying Glorious Noise. Check it out, it's a music site that's sort of dedicated to modern musical theory. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 26th, 2003|07:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | horny | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the locust | ] |
listening to the locust. considering cleaning my room. dinner with eliza + two mothers tonight. perhaps i should be concerned. dear self: try not to make an ass of me.
getting quite tired of parents' weekend. just want my mother to buy me tons of snack food, some books, maybe a new scarf, and then go...she keeps trying to prove that i'm just constantly on drugs, that i'm some sort of disaster that only religious intervention (that she can't provide) could possibly save. honestly, didn't she see my report card? and yet she still thinks i'm a heroin addict? (it was really funny when she thought the scar from when i gave blood was a track mark) (actually, it was a lot more offensive than funny).
Oh yeah, my other hamster died. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 11th, 2003|03:07 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | a silver mount zion & tralala band w/choir- Babylon was built on fire/starsnostars | ] |
I just figured out why asian cultures love rice.
it's because rice is tight.
and not in the way that you lied to your ex girlfriend that she was tight,
I mean, tight like your mom on easter sunday tight. |
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| Sorry I haven't written, I've been depressed. |
[Aug. 21st, 2003|10:09 pm] |
And the reality of Duckie being gone..still hasen't hit me.
I need to clean out her cage and put the stuff away. Everytime I see it I'm like "Du...oh..yeah.."
Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep
I hate the video for this song. And it needs to stick to an acoustic guitar, and be slllooowww.
I was drinking pink lemonade kool-aid, but I saw something floating in my drink. That looked like a small bug. Those ones that fly..the larger ones. Bleck. |
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| Logic at its Best. |
[Jul. 20th, 2003|04:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | predatory | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Barry White - Baby, We Better Try To Get It Together | ] |
Ass massages = good times
I = good at ass massages
thus I = good times
That is all. |
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| I just can't take it |
[Jul. 7th, 2003|01:08 am] |
I woke up this morning with a searing pain in my right thigh. That's been happening a lot lately, I should see a doctor. I couldn't lay down because of the pain so I just had to get out of bed early. At 10:30 I picked up Emily. We talked for about an hour. She was really nice about the whole thing, breaking up with me softly. Just more proof that she's a great person.
But I don't want to talk about it, really. Not with everyone, at least.
I got a job application at Las Chivas/Downtown Subscription. They also gave me a math test. With a lot of word problems about coffee. I don't drink a lot of coffee, but I could work in a coffee shop, I guess. I hope I get the other job I'm pursuing, paid editing intern at connect press. They publish technical magazines for professional software.
I went out to dinner tonight with my family, to Tomasitas, and then my mom and I saw minority report. AWESOME movie. iheartscifi. The movie had a lot of cool action sequences and that sort of thing, but really the cool parts were all the futuristic hypothetical moral questions, which I guess is a Philip K. Dick thing (he wrote the short story "Minority Report"). After all, he is the guy who asked "Do androids dream of electric sheep"? |
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| Oi |
[Jul. 5th, 2003|02:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | kittie - paperdoll | ] |
Eh. Im bored so yeah, heres a list of shit that i find hella annoying:
1. All these "punk" people. No wait, the entire punk thing! I mean, eh, who gives a shit if you listen to punk and get pissed off when your band is being played on the radio. I mean, let other people listen to what you listen to.
2. People that dress up punkish. Eh.. I remember this one time where I saw this guy wearing regular old school clothes one day and then the next day he went all "punk." Oi..just cause he heard some New Found Glory on the radio.
3. wEn PeOpLe wRiTe LiKe DiS. iT's hElLa AnNoYiNg 2 SeE aNd iT's jUsT pLaIn gHeY.
4. Livejournal people that think getting a bajillion friends makes them the fucking center of the world. Eh, i met one of these people and eh..I took them off my friends list cause they were just using me to increase their friends number.
5. Suicidal for attention--nuff said
6. Is hating Avril the "punk" thing to do. No, seriously, is it?
7. Eh, people who after receiving a kind, considerate, heartwarming letter have nothing else to say about it than "pfft". You know who you are.
Eh. Sorry if any of you guys got offended by this. I dont mean to point out specific people except number 7. |
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| What should I do? |
[Jul. 3rd, 2003|01:14 am] |
I know I am going to die.
This is not a silly suicide thing, I am aware that the paths i have chosen will inevitably lead me to the realm of conflict and Death.
I have chosen to serve the Queen as her Thane, not a difficult choice I might add, there has been too much crime and it must be stopped. I am seen as 'selling out' somewhat. What am I to do. I see death every day, i see rape and murder and theft and I hate it. It sickens me. And those that let it happen, that are too weak to aid themselves, they sicken me because they need me to stop it when they should be helping themselves.
I quest for the Queen, for the safety of her lands, others say they will not be 'The Queens Bitch'. i don't understand. thers will pay for their safety, yet they feel agravated enough to think they should not be forced to work for the safety they enjoy.
I..i protect Keelin as best I can, i will watch her and try to see what may befall her. She is my best friend after Jeremy...
Damien, the murderer, liar...disgusting..thing. I trust in her Majesty and others should. He let Seth kill the Duchess, let him kill families with children, and didn't care to tell her Majesty. Coward.
And now Zubin, who aided in the taking of Seth, is in danger, by Escheat breachers. And I am given leave to aid him also.
I am tired, I do to much, bt noone will do it, noone else stnads for these things. So I do the only thing I do. I go and do my duty, no matter the cost.
And one day I will not be fast enough, or there will be to many, or I will just not see the blade until it is inside me.On that day I will die. I know this, i knew this would happen. I know that day will come.
I am....scared.. I know i don't want to die. I know if i do what I am I will.
But I can't stop, if i stop, who else will do these things? |
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| PULL ME UNDER |
[Jul. 1st, 2003|11:47 am] |
I've just finished my "weekend" and I'm all bummed out. Beau had to wash my clothes because we wound up at his house at 5:30 this morning reeking of cigarette smoke, booze, and ocean. The downside is that he forgot to take my wallet out (he doesn't use a wallet, so he didn't think to check the back pockets) and I lost all my business cards, subway stamps, and various other crap I keep back there like the movie stub from the last movie Cathy and I saw (Sweet Home Alabama) and my stub from the opening night of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Bleh. Both of them were special in their own ways and I felt a little sad when I realized I'd lost them. I had to buy another wallet and I found one in Hot Topic that doesn't really suit me. It's black leather with a red jolly roger, which isn't so bad... but it's not the same. I had my other wallet for 5 years and I know I needed a new one, but there's no room in this cheap fucking thing. Gah, I'm such a fucking loser. I don't know anyone else who would rant over something that seems so trivial.
Speaking of being suicidal (did I say that?), er, I mean a loser.. I've realized for a few weeks now that I hate Cathy for putting me through what she did... and I want to move on but I don't know that I want a relationship. I'm such a hopeless romantic that all I want is that taste of pure, sweet, innocent love. I want to be able to lay next to someone and feel that anxiousness and nervousness and wanting and needing to feel and touch and caress. I don't think I'll ever have it again... and, let's face it, even if I did it would probably only end up in heartbreak. Why should I trust anyone when I've had my heart broken 4 times? I feel like I can't trust anyone who seems interested in me. I fucking give up. |
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